How Not to Write a Novel

'What do you think of my fiction book writing?' the aspiring novelist extorted. 'Darn,' the editor hectored, in turn. 'I can not publish your novel It is full of what we in the business call 'really awful writing.'' 'But how shall I absolve this dilemma? I have already read every tome available on how to write well and get published ' The writer tossed his head about, wildly. 'It might help,' opined the blonde editor, helpfully, 'to ponder how NOT to write a novel, so you might avoid the very thing ' Many writing books offer sound advice on how to write well. This is not one of those books. On the contrary, this is a collection of terrible, awkward, and laughably unreadable excerpts that will teach you what to avoid--at all costs--if you ever want your novel published. In How Not to Write a Novel, authors Howard Mittelmark and Sandra Newman distill their 30 years combined experience in teaching, editing, writing, and reviewing fiction to bring you real advice from the other side of